Grey Warden's Solace
by Velthrick
Summary: Alistair thought his world ended when Elissa Cousland sacrificed her life to save Fereldan from the Blight. What makes it hurt more is the fact she never had the same feelings for him. However, our cheese-loving warden finds comfort when he manages to save and recruit a woman into the wardens. He fears though that he might lose her like he lost Elissa. First Dragon Age fanfiction


**Author's Note**: Hello my friends.

I came up with the idea for this story on my second play-through on Origins in the quest to experience all the possible endings. When I refused the ritual with Morrign, I made my character go into the battle without Alistair who happened to be the person she was in a romance with. During the ending, I noticed that Alistair did not seem to be as upset over the situation as a normal person would have. So the idea popped in my head to write a story where it **showed** the grief and misery he suffered due to the Warden dying and how he managed to overcome this tragedy through another person.

I do not own Dragon Age or any of its characters. Just saying.

Please please please please don't make fun of my punctuation. I know I'm terrible. I don't need your help in noticing were some minor details I changed to help fit into the story but it isn't important changes like saying Morrigan was really a man who loved the chantry and Dog was really a cat. This chapter was a little rushed I will admit but all my first chapters are like this. After the first two, I will slow into a comfortable pace not only to write in but also for you to read .

Enjoy – Velthrick

Chapter 1: The Dreams

_Alistair let out a grunt as he bashed away yet another on coming darkspawn away with his shield before he severed off its head with a quick swing of his sword. However, three more of the unholy fiends took the place of their fallen comrade forcing Alistair to change his stance for one that favored defense and his shield. The templar's Grey Warden abilities informed him of an unwanted guess and he was able to duck down just to see the crude weapon of a darkspawn unintentionally take out his own comrades. Alistair rewarded the creature's dedications and loyalties to his friends with a shield to the face and a slashed neck. _

" _Andraste's flaming unmentionables ," Alistair cried out when he noticed even __**more **__darkspawn come through the gate. The dalish archer's were already taking out most of the crowd but that still didn't mean this particular wave was going to be any more easy than the last was. If anything it was going to be harder... just the way he liked it. Now if only the amount of sarcasm in that thought was tangible then he could drown all the darkspawn! AHA! That would give him plenty of time to make it to Fort Drakon to help with the final battle. _

" _Mentioning about the Prophetess' unmentionables ruins the point of calling them unmentionables ," Leliana said as she came to the warrior's side shooting down a few hurlocks as she went. There was blood covering much of her leathers and Alistair hoped that they belonged to the darkspawn. Then again... injured people didn't tend to move as agile as the Sister did nor while singing at the same time. " Well if we make it out of this alive I'll make sure to go by the nearest Chantry and say I'm sorry for mentioning her unmentionables then hopefully she will tell me she forgives me and everyone goes out for cheese ," Alistair said laughing awkwardly as he scratched that one spot on the back of his neck that had bugged him for the past few minutes. These darkspawn weren't nice enough to let a man scratch an itch before engaging in a fight to the death. Pfff...Rude. _

_The bard placed her face in her hand and sighed. " even in the heat of battle... you still manage to find time to pop silly jokes ," she said as a darkspawn ran towards her from behind. " Wa- ," Alistair tried to warn but it was late... for the darkspawn who was knocked to the ground by a pouncing marabi who then proceeded to shred his face off. " OH ," exclaimed Leliana who turned to see what Alistair had tried to warn her about. " Why thank you, Ser Barkers " Leliana said with a small bow and a giggle which earned her a happy bark in reply before the three returned their attention to the battle at hand. Between the warrior, the rogue, and the dog, the darkspawn were a little easier to take down. Mainly because if Alistair's shield or sword missed, Leliana's arrows would take them down, and if __**that **__missed the marabi's powerful jaws would make quick work of them. Most didn't make it past the arrows. _

" _AHO! You darkspawn are nowhere near as vicious as the Antivan whores ," laughed the elf assassin Zevren as he cut down foes left and right with his daggers. He grunted when he parried the attack of a hurlock but a swift kick left an opening for some slashes and cuts. " You got blood on my new boots... Now why would you do such a thing," he said to the corpse as looked over at the three who were standing there dumbfounded a bit. " We are awesome, my friends ," He laughed as he flashed a wicked smile at them. The white-haired elf then went back to his game of cutting down darkspawn. He was lucky Wynne wasn't there otherwise the elf would have suffered a stern talking for using such foul language and a hit to the head with her staff because some how some way Zevran would end up commenting on her bosom. _

_The four had been left here to defend the gates of Denerim while Wynne, Sten, Oghren, and Elissa went after the Archdemon just for when Riordan failed. Alistair didn't have doubts that the Grey Warden would fail but it was the thought that Elissa would have to risk her life that made the templar's heart ache. He had tried convincing her the night before they set off about letting him go with her to Archdemon but she seemed off about something. It might have had something to do with the disappearance of Morrigan who was rather close to Elissa. All Alistair knew was that he had to secure the gate as quickly as possible and then make his way to the group in time for the final blow. He had nothing to lose. Elissa had so much to live for. _

_With the help of some soldiers as well as the Dalish elves, the group was able to continue pushing back wave after wave of darkspawn. Emissaries, Ogres, or any other form of darkspawn in that matter was quickly slain through a combination of teamwork, good aim, and the occasional missed blow that failed to kill the original target but ended up taking out something else. Those were Alistair's favorite. _

_It was truly a sight to see. Everyone working together doing their own thing to make the battle a bit easier. Like whenever Alistair found himself surrounded by too many fiends and Leliana broke out in a song that seemed to leave them dazed long enough to Alistair to escape and either the dog or Zevran to finish them off. The assassin exploiting small flaws in enemy armor and marking them for everyone to see. Ser Barkers talking the shorter rounder darkspawn and shaking them around like the dead half-eaten hare he tried to give to Morrigan. _

_He could hear the cries of the Archdemon but he was never able to get a free moment to see what had happened. There were several loud sounds that caused him to turn on instinct but after a slash to the side the Grey Warden was determined not to make that same rookie mistake twice. Eventually the last wave of the creatures came and they were quickly defeated. A messenger came to the templar and asked if he should report anything to the others. Alistair told the messenger to tell Elissa and the others that they can hold to gate for now. He couldn't necessarily say they won because neither the archdemon was slain nor were all the darkspawn defeated. The Blight wasn't technically over just yet. When the young man went running off, Alistair took the opportunity to check to see how everyone was doing. _

_Leliana was fine and didn't own any wounds from the darkspawn and didn't seem to have ingested any of the blood. She was safe from corruption. However, that didn't stop her from exclaiming about how terrible it is that she never actually got to finish any of her songs. Personally, Alistair would have been more worried about the bard's nearly depleted arrow supply. Oh well. Some people just had different priorities. Just look at himself. If Alistair had to choose between laying with a free whore at the Pearl or a wedge of fine cheese... Alistair was definitely taking the cheese. Without question. _

_Ser Barkers, or Dog as some people called him, was happily gnawing away on the severed arm of a Hurlock. Though the marabi clearly consumed the tainted blood, he didn't seem sick like some of the other war hounds were when they were sent into combat. A quick pat to the head and the promises of treats when the battle ended was enough to actually get the Warden a lick to the face. Which naturally, he thought he was about to die, have his face ripped off, and be the next chew-toy. Luckily, Andraste must not have been to upset with the mentioning of her unmentionables. _

_Zevran was the opposite from the others. He was sitting on top of an ogre he had slit the throat of with his chin in his hand and the other twirling a knife in his fingers. The elf might have been the only who wasn't afraid of dying today and was actually enjoying himself. Unless he was really good at hiding how he felt... which was a possibility considering all of their encounters earlier. _

_After having his side bandage and some what healed by a circle mage, Alistair picked up his sword and shield once more and looked up at the sky. There were no giant purple dragons so Alistair had to assume that battle had begun. " You all stay here and keep and eye out for any more waves through the gates. Er... I'm going to see if we can find any survivors ," Alistair said to the others. He wasn't technically lying but he wasn't telling the full through. Fortunately, no one called him out on it and the templar was left to his own devices. Part of him was glad no one volunteered to go with him but it still kind of hurt. Thanks guys... Glad to see they were all worried about his safety._

_Alistair left the gates and followed the trail of blood and carnage that could have only been left by Elissa and the rest of the group. That and there was a small trail of ale on the ground which indicated that not only was Oghren here but that the dwarf had a leak in his bottle. There were a few dwarven corpses and the blood was fresh so it meant they had been here just recently. If he ran, there might be a chance. _

_He ran has fast as he could without wearing himself out or tripping and busting his face on the ground. He followed the trail to the Market only to see more corpses and that the ale trail had headed towards the alienage. A few stragglers tried to engage Alistair but with his mind-set on getting to the others, they were easily dispatched. ' Just a little longer...' he thought to himself. Maybe if he told himself that enough times it would come true. Right? No? Well who asked you... mean...witch-thieves?_

_The warrior followed the trial towards the Alienage to see a very similar scene to the one in the Market. The only difference was that there were some local elves trying to get as many survivors as they could out before any more destruction came to their home. Alistair, as much as he was determined to get there, had to do the right thing and help lift some debris in order for some elves to crawl out with the help other loved ones. They thanked the Warden and answered his questions about the locations of two human women, a drunk dwarf, and a qunari. The elves spoke of the group with high praises saying how grateful they were for them showing up and saving what few of the Alienage they could and said they went to cross the bridge and head towards the palace. Alistair thanked them for their help and left in a rush. However, his hopes were shattered when he came across the destroyed bridges._

" _Damn... Maker why now ," Alistair said trying to think of another way to get to the keep. There were a few other ways but they were a bit out-of-the-way and would take longer considering the chances of swarms of darkspawn. No... he wasn't giving up now. Not when there was still a chance. He wasn't going to give up! The warrior scrambled back to the Alienage and managed to get the help of a few elves who offered to help him get to the palace if it meant repaying the favor to Elissa for helping them not only with the darkspawn but also with the slave trade. _

_They hurried to the palace and the fort but had to stop to clear out any creatures that tried to stand in their way. One of the elves who accompanied the templar was slain but the rest assured him it was what he wanted. _

_As they got closer and closer, Alistair couldn't stop smiling to himself. He was getting closer... there was still time. From the sounds of things, not that you could really hear anything over all the commotion, the Archdemon had not yet been engaged yet. Elissa must still be making her way through the fort. " Maker may there be a lot of darkspawn in there... or some child who needs help." It was a terrible thing to ask for considering he knew she would make sure every one of the damn beasts were slain and that the child was either reunited with their mother or was safe from harm but it would be enough to give him more time. _

_That was all he could seem to think about...time. More time. More time. More time. _

_So long as there was time... there was hope. He knocked on the remains of a destroyed door just to be sure he didn't jinx himself. _

_Alone, Alistair would not have made it this far and he owed it to the elves. It would be because of them that she lived. They made it to the door of the fort when one of the elves had called out to Alistair. " We found a body ," the elf cried out. Alistair sighed and was about to say that were a lot of bodies here and that they needed to hurry until the elf spoke again. " It's the body of a Warden" _

_Alistair's heart stopped. " What?! Can you identify it? By Andraste's ass tell me who it belongs to" he yelled making a few of the elves cringe. Even Alistair was shocked by his own outburst. Then again, the reason for this was because of the warden he was trying to save __**from **__dying. The elf was a bit hesitant at first and reexamined the remains to be sure. _

" _From what I could tell... it isn't hers. It's that of a male human" the elf said in a small voice. The elf had hoped that it would have pleased Alistair to know it wasn't the woman he was looking for. However, that wasn't what he wanted to hear at all. " Are you sure it is a Warden? I hope your lying to me." The elf nodded. Alistair paled a bit and pushed them aside to see for his own eyes. Though it nearly made him want to throw up his breakfast... they were telling the truth. " Riordan... no... that means... " he said as he turned towards the Fort to here the dying roar of the Archdemon. When the roar ended, a beacon shot up into the sky. Alistair's eyes widened in fear as he scrambled to get to the palace even though he knew he was too late. Then he watched in horror as the beacon.. exploded._

" NOOO ," Alistair cried out as he shot up from his bed. His naked body was drenched in sweat even though the fire was long since out and the blanket he had been thin. His breathing was fast and heavy rising and falling rapidly almost at the same pace as his beating heart. Part of him was expecting Elissa to walk into the room with whoever he woke up to yell at him about being loud when they were all trying to sleep. He waited and waited but alas no one opened the door. This wasn't even Redcliffe Castle. He hadn't just been dreaming it... he had relived the memory.

" It's just a dream... it's just a dream..." he tried telling himself even though he knew that every moment of that dream was true.

Alistair couldn't help but to let the tears fall from his eyes as he held his head in his hands. This wasn't the first time he had relived the moments before her death and he could bet sovereigns on it not being the last time. However, that didn't make him feel any better about the situation. If anything, it got worse the more he experienced the dream. Mainly because he found more things he could have done differently that could have saved her. Would of saved her. Had he brought the others Alistair might have gotten there sooner. Had he not went to the Alienage he wouldn't have had to worry about turning around and trying to find another way. Had he not worried about the others and let right then and there. Had he not let her go without him...

It was some time before Alistair was able to finally stop the crying. None of the others understood why Alistair continued to suffer from her death. They too mourned her loss but it wasn't anything like his. They didn't have to same relationship with her as he did. They didn't know her from the beginning like he did.

Elissa was his best friend throughout this entire thing. Always by each others side, they were inseparable and the best of friends and comrades. Alistair didn't want to at first but he found himself falling for the noblewoman not long after the battle at Ostagar when he was relieved to see her alive and walking out of Flemeth's hut. Even more so when she defended him from Morrigan's teasing and jokes and mockery from the others about his..._purity_.

It was obvious to everyone that Alistair was in love with his fellow Warden. Even she knew it. However, she didn't see him like he to her. Elissa would flirt and make jokes with him but she never wanted to start a relationship with him. It wasn't that she couldn't... even she herself admitted to it. But she wouldn't be with him because she believed that she wasn't right for Alistair. That the only thing she would do was bring him pain. Any nothing hurt her more than seeing others suffer because of her.

" Do you see me now, Elissa? Do you see how much your sacrifice to save me from pain worked? If anything... it was the worst pain you could have ever given me. Even the Joining wasn't like losing you," Alistair said to himself. Part of him cursed her and her foolish decision. The other part knew that he was only saying that because he missed her and that he was only saying that because he was angry. Angry not only because she went to her death willingly but because she left him alone. Elissa was what he thought of as the one. The one he was willing to give anything and everything to. His virginity, his life, his love, everything. He remembered the time she called his bluff after offering her the rose he found. Saying he would like to skip and go straight to the steamy parts. That lasted for only a few seconds before her devious and mischievous mind kicked in and see told him to start taking armor off.

After some time, Alistair was able to calm himself down enough to be able to attempt to try to go back to sleep. He feared though that the moment he closed his eyes, he would start the dream all over again. The Warden feared having to see her body being carried out of the Fort. He didn't think he could handle it again. As the hours passed, the templar could slowly feel his eyes grow heavy before he drifted off into a dark dreamless sleep.

_**To be continued**_**...**

_**And hopefully continued better then this...**_

_**Hopefully...**_


End file.
